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So loved,
So missed,
So unreal,
Still........
Suicide doesn't end pain.
It only lays it
on the
broken shoulders
of the survivors..........
Anne-Grace Scheinin
.........Your friends and family who are
left behind to wonder
WHY????
Some visitors may have wondered why
I have chosen to put this
as the first thing you see on Rosies site.
Like I am proud of it or something.
Or focusing her death...
and not her life.
Not at all.
I am just trying to bring awareness to the devastating
after affects of this choice
that is made by
over 30,000 Americans every year.
And some visitors
won't read all the
way to the bottom of the page.
(please take the time)
We never saw it coming.
You probably won't either.
But these 30,000 Americans are related to someone.
Don't let this affect your family!
Rosie, Jeffrey and Kitty
"There will be no goodbyes
for us.
For wherever you are,
you will always be in our hearts."
~~Mahatma Ghandi
This memorial website was created in loving memory of Rosanne Renae Lowe who was born in Hoffman Estates, Illinois on April 20, 1984 and passed away on June 14, 2006 at the age of 22.
Rosanne was known to many as Rosie, Ro, Ro Ro, Ru, Ru Ru, Roose, Rooseburps, RoRo Go Wreck, (for her 10 fender benders in the first year she had her license), Rolie, (when she rolled her jeep) Masufra, (lovingly) and when she was in trouble, ROSANNE RENAE!
Rosie was the baby,
following in behind sisters
Megan and Sara.
Each child planned for, each 2 years apart, each loved and cherished for their own unique personalities, and each child very special
and very necessary.
Rosie completed our family.
Rosie had the gift of gab (or not) and you could often put the phone down or leave the room and she would still be talking,
not missing a beat
While she always meant well, she had a tendency to impulsively say the wrong thing or
say it in the wrong way,
keeping her in a constant state of apology.
But that was Rosie;
we were hoping she’d grow out of it.
She had a smile that could blind you and wanted to be a friend to everyone. She would do any favor, for anyone, except of course, Saturday chores or any physical work at home. For that, right up till the end, she had to be bribed or threatened.
Rosie loved me, her dad, her sisters and
Orlando Bloom.
She loved homegrown tomatoes, KFC, my sloppy joes, my meatloaf, McChicken with cheese,
and my stuffing balls.
She loved her nephews, her kitten, Yorkie Puppies,
the group Alabama, rummage sales,
her job, her friends,
pajama pants
and Jim.
Maybe not all in that order.
Someone also mentioned UV Bombs.....
Rosie’s choice has left us in a devastated state of confusion, anguish and still today, disbelief that she is not here anymore.
Each of us still have her on speed dial and often try to call her before we realize, oh yeah…...,
it’s real…….,
she’s gone.
Something put her in that frame of mind that night.
Alcohol, her love life (or lack of), who knows.
We don’t believe that Rosie meant her suicide
attempt to be successful.
She was planning a future!
She talked of children one day!
Country Thunder was coming up and
we always went together.
She had already purchased her Dave Matthews ticket. She filled her gas tank that morning.
She had never even been on an airplane!
It just doesn't make sense!!!!
The coroner said she only took 5 pills. She could have taken the whole bottle of 120.
But she was drinking. And left a note....
And suicide by definition is
causing your own death.
Accidental or not.
We only know that she impulsively
lost her hope for the future.
And as it's been said,
"suicide is a permanent solution
to a temporary problem."
So our Rosie has become another statistic.
More on that later…..
And still is.
In our hearts forever!
Auntie Ro Ro sure loved Jacob.
And was determined to be his favorite Aunt!
I'VE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN KEEP GOING LONG AFTER YOU THINK YOU CAN'T
I'VE LEARNED THAT FRIENDS AND RELATIVES CAN BECOME STRANGERS, AND STRANGERS CAN BECOME FRIENDS,
I'VE LEARNED THAT IGNORANCE ISN'T AN EXCUSE FOR THE LACK OF COMPASSION
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL
NEVER, EVER, "GET IT"
AND I...
WILL NEVER
"GET OVER IT".
I'VE LEARNED THAT THE
COMMUNITY OF SORROW IS THE
STRONGEST OF ALL.
I'VE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR HEART IS BROKEN THE WORLD DOESN'T STOP FOR YOUR GRIEF,
I'VE LEARNED THAT YOUR LIFE CAN BE CHANGED IN A MATTER OF MINUTES,
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME OF THE PEOPLE YOU CARE MOST ABOUT IN LIFE ARE TAKEN FROM YOU TOO SOON,
I'VE LEARNED YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LEAVE LOVED ONES WITH LOVING WORDS. IT MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE THEM,
I'VE LEARNED THAT LOVE ISN'T MEASURED BY THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU HAVE WITH SOMEONE,
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME SORROW IS SO DEEP THAT IT HAS NO WORDS,
BUT SO IS LOVE!
Author Not Known---
But Could Have Been Me
We ask that those of you who knew and loved her take a moment and share some of your memories of her with us all, by contributing your memories and pictures to this website.
Thank you Melody!
Our Rose, just beginning to bloom.......
Rosie would always trap me in the bathroom as I would open the door, doing this dance......
Here comes Rosie..........
Auntie RoRo and Jeffrey
Thank you Sarah!
♥♥♥ JUST FOR TODAY ♥♥♥
Just for today, I will try to live thru the next 24 hrs, and not expect to get over my child's death, but instead learn to live with it
one day at a time.
Just for today, I will remember my child's life, not her death and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days
and moments we shared.
Just for today, I will forgive all my family and friends who didn't help or comfort me in the way I needed them to.
They truly didn't know how.
Just for today, I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften
and I will begin to heal.
Just for today, I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child. For they are hurting too, and
perhaps we can comfort each other.
Just for today, I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I do know, if there was anything in this world to save my child from death, I would have done it.
Just for today, I will honor my child's memory by doing something for another child because I know that would have
made my own child proud.
Just for today, when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we have to pay for loving and the only reason that I hurt is because I have had the privilege
of loving someone so very much.
Just for today, I will not compare myself to others. I am very fortunate to be who I am and to have had my child for as long as I did.
Just for today, I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting her by living on.
Author Unknown but could've been me......
Thank you Darla!
Their last picture together. Dec 2005.
Rosie was there in spirit!
Sara was not sure we should keep her......
Gotta love her.
Thank you Sarah!
A Mother's Grief
by
Kelly Cummings
You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go
How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see
You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.
Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.
Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.
Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?
No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?
I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.
How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?
Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childs casket,
watched it perched above a grave?
You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.
If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.
Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."
Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do too.
I swear that I'll remember
till the day I'm very old,
the friend who sat and held my hand
and let me bare my soul.
Love you little sister!
Goodbye....
for
now
Meet us at the gate Rosie....
  
 
A child who loses a parent is an Orphan,
A man who loses his wife is a Widower,
A woman who loses her husband is a Widow.
There is no name for a parent that loses a child
for there is no word to describe the pain.
We walked together, you and I. A mother and her Daughter, We had hopes and dreams for tomorrow, But tomorrow didn't come.
We walked together, you and I. We talked, we laughed, we loved. We shared so many happy times And for that, I thank the lord above.
We walked together, You and I, But only for a short time. For all too soon it ended Leaving pieces of broken hearts behind.
And even though I miss you, More than words can say, I thank God that I got to walk with you Every precious moment of every day....
Poem written by another grieving Mother
The sun rises, then sets. I still exist.
And spring is on the loom.
First your birthday, a 23,
that you won't be,
And then your angel date.
Neither a day that we will celebrate.
The only joy
That it marks a year of firsts
And brings me that much closer to you.
I love you Rosie!
Mom 3-8-07
You are missed beyond belief.
"Your life stops right there. Just stops. And when it starts up again, it's different. It's never what it was before that moment. Never." (author unknown)
We ask that those of you who knew and loved her take a moment and share some of your memories of her with us all, by contributing your memories and pictures to this website.
When Someone is Too Bruised to be Touched
By Ron Rolheiser July 7, 2002
A few days ago, I was asked to visit a family who had, just that day, lost their son to suicide. There isn't much one can offer by way of consolation, even faith consolation, at a moment like this, when everyone is in shock and the pain is so raw. Few things can so devastate us as the suicide of a loved one, especially of one's own child. There is the horrific shock of losing a loved one so suddenly which, just of itself, can bring us to our knees; but, with suicide, there are other soul-wrenching feelings too, confusion, guilt, second-guessing, religious anxiety. Where did we fail this person? What might we still have done? What should we have noticed? What is this person's state with God? What needs to be said about all of this:
First of all, that suicide is a disease and the most misunderstood of all sicknesses. It takes a person out of life against his or her will, the emotional equivalent of cancer, a stroke, or a heart attack. Second, we, those left behind, need not spend undue energy second-guessing as to how we might have failed that person, what we should have noticed, and what we might still have done to prevent the suicide. Suicide is an illness and, as with any sickness, we can love someone and still not be able to save that person from death. God loved this person too and, like us, could not, this side of eternity, do anything either. Finally, we shouldn't worry too much about how God meets this person on the other side. God's love, unlike ours, can go through locked doors and touch what will not allow itself to be touched by us.
Is this making light of suicide? Hardly. Anyone who has ever dealt with either the victim of a suicide before his or her death or with those grieving that death afterwards knows that it is impossible to make light of it. There is no hell and there is no pain like the one suicide inflicts. Nobody who is healthy wants to die and nobody who is healthy wants to burden his or her loved ones with this kind of pain. And that's the point: This is only done when someone isn't healthy. The fact that medication can often prevent suicide should tell us something. Suicide is an illness not a sin. Nobody just calmly decides to commit suicide and burden his or her loved ones with that death any more than anyone calmly decides to die of cancer and cause pain.
The victim of suicide (in all but rare cases) is a trapped person, caught up in a fiery, private chaos that has its roots both in his or her emotions and in his or her bio-chemistry. Suicide is a desperate attempt to end unendurable pain, akin to one throwing oneself through a window because one's clothing is on fire. Many of us have known victims of suicide and we know too that in almost every case that person was not full of ego, pride, haughtiness, and the desire to hurt someone. Generally it's the opposite. The victim has cancerous problems precisely because he or she is wounded, raw, and too-bruised to have the necessary resiliency needed to deal with life. Those of us who have lost loved ones to suicide know that the problem is not one of strength but of weakness, the person is too-bruised to be touched. I remember a comment I over-heard at a funeral for a suicide victim. The priest had preached badly, hinting that this suicide was somehow the man's own fault and that suicide was always the ultimate act of despair. At the reception afterwards a neighbor of the victim expressed his displeasure at the priest's homily: "There are a lot of people in this world who should kill themselves," he lamented bitterly, "but those kind never do! This man is the last person who should have killed himself because he was one of the most sensitive people I've ever met!" A book could be written on that statement. Too often it is precisely the meek who seem to lose the battle, at least in this world.
Finally, I submit that we shouldn't worry too much about how God meets our loved ones who have fallen victim to suicide. God, as Jesus assures us, has a special affection for those of us who are too-bruised and wounded to be touched. Jesus assures us too that God's love can go through locked doors and into broken places and free up what's paralyzed and help that which can no longer help itself. God is not blocked when we are. God can reach through. And so our loved ones who have fallen victim to suicide are now inside of God's embrace, enjoying a freedom they could never quite enjoy here and being healed through a touch that they could never quite accept from us.
My heartfelt thanks to all the graphic artists that helped me with this site! Many of you grieving yourselves but using your talents for good.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
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Click here to see Rosanne Lowe's Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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Missing you.. / Mom
Rosie, you were and still are such an important part of our family. Like missing a limb, your absence is a constant reminder of what was. Know that we will always love you, always remember what you were to our lives and always mourn for you.
Ple...
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You are an Aunt again / Mom
Well Rosie, you are an Auntie again. Megan put your picture up in the delivery room so that you, me, Meg and Sara could be together for the delivery. She knew that you would want to be there. And you were,
in our hearts. As always.The day was very ...
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Sometimes I want to scream / Mom
It is always at the base of my throat and I have to hold it back. I want to scream your name as loud and as long as I can. And just keep on screaming.
I will never get over you Rosie. Never get past this. Never stop missing you. And never ev...
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Rosie always gaurenteed a smile / Joe Popeck (friend)
Regretably I only knew Rosie for a short time. We worked together at Toll Brothers. Rosie would regulally run around the office with her shoes off, causing trouble with folks lke me who tried not to take our selves to seriously. I cannot tell you how...
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Little visits from Rosie / Laurri (Mom)
8/1/2006I had a dream that Rosie was floating face up in a knee deep water fountain or pond. Her long hair was flowing all around her and Collier was giving her CPR. (not sure what that was all about)Then she was ok. She told me she wanted to co...
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My sincere condolence / Patrick Jonas (none) Read >> |
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Just thinking. / Garrett Feis (Uncle) Read >> |
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today / Megan Lowe (sister) Read >> |
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2007 Out of the Darkness Walk / Laurri Read >> |
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Condolences / Tom Pinkowski Jr. (Friend) Read >> |
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This is the "normal" of all grieving parents. / LAURRI LOWE (mom) Read >> |
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A Suicide Survivors Beatitudes / Laurri Lowe (Loving Mom ) Read >> |
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| Her legacy |
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Suicide, it's out there...
Suicide doesn't end pain.
It only lays it on the
broken shoulders
of the survivors.
Anne-Grace Scheinin
I guess in trying to make some sense of this senseless act, or at least find some purpose for Rosie’s death, I am compelled,
or was propelled actually,
to suicide awareness and prevention. It’s out there! Don’t allow yourself or a loved one to become another statistic!
If someone says they are going to go home and take some pills, believe them and call someone for help!
It’s better to have a mad friend, than a dead friend.
Leaving a note and saying you are sorry does not lessen the pain and devastation that is left behind.
If you yourself feel that way, talk to someone! Talk to me!
It doesn't mean you're crazy! And nothing to be ashamed of!Research says that a person "thinks" of suicide at least three times in their lives. And sometimes it's just not that easy to "snap out of it."
The world will not be a better place without you!
You are loved!!
By your friends and family and
our God who created you!
If you are in crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK
Your crisis is temporary, death is permanent!
Please take time to view the following websites,
whether you are in crisis or not.
http://www.suicide.org/
http://www.afsp.org/
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html
If Rosie knew what this would do to us, she could not have given up.
Rosie told several people what she planned to do that night. But they either didn’t believe her or as in J.G.'s case,
told her he didn’t care.
I think she felt obligated to call their bluff.
Their heads were spinning with disbelief the next morning,
as were ours.
***********************************************
You would not believe the statistics on suicide,
over 30,000 a year in the United States alone.
That's one American every 16 minutes,
of every day
that completes a suicide attempt.
A suicide attempt is made every minute of every day.
http://www.suicidology.org/associations/1045/files/2004datapgv1.pdf
More than homicide, more than Aids. It is an epidemic, but you don't see that on the news. Are the schools addressing this? Is anyone???
These figures only represent ruled suicides. If Rosie had not left a note (she did), her death would have been ruled accidental.
Now figure this.
Only one in five leave a note.
How many suicides are there really every year?
**********************************************
Talk about this to your loved ones today.
Use Rosie as an example if you want to.
And if you want to know the devastation that's left in the aftermath, contact me.
Just don't think it can't happen in your family.
These 30,000 Americans are related to someone!
http://www.we-remember-them.com
http://www.suicidememorialwall.com/page1.php?section=6
PLEASE VISIT
THE SUICIDE MEMORIAL WALL
http://www.suicidememorialwall.com
Rosie is in section #6
Grief is a tidal wave that overtakes you,
smashes down upon you with unimaginable
force, sweeps you up into its darkness,
where you tumble and crash against
unidentifiable surfaces, only to be
thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised,
reshaped.
Grief means not being able to read more
than two sentences at a time.
It is walking into rooms with intention
that suddenly vanishes.
Grief is 3:00 in the morning sweats that won't stop.
It is dreadful Sundays, Mondays that are no better.
It makes you look for a face in the crowd, knowing full well the face we are looking for will not be in that crowd.
Grief is utter aloneness that razes the rational mind
and makes room for the phantasmagoric.
It makes you suddenly get up in the middle of a meeting
without saying a word.
Grief is what people think of you most.
It shears away the mask of normal life
and forces brutal honesty out of your mouth,
before propriety can stop you.
It shoves away friends,
scares away so-called friends
and rewrites address books for you.
Grief makes you laugh at people who cry
over spilled milk.
Right to their faces.
It tells the world that you are untouchable
at the very moment when touch is the only
contact that might reach you.
It makes lepers out of upstanding citizens.
Grief discriminates against no one.
It kills. It maims. It cripples.
It is the ashes from which the phoenix rises,
and the mettle of rebirth.
It returns life to the living dead.
It teaches that there is nothing absolutley true or untrue.
It assures the living that we know nothing
for certain.
It humbles. It shrouds. It blackens.
It enlightens.
Grief will make a new person out of you.
If it doesn't kill you
in the making.
Author: Stephanie Ericsson
I am not who I was.
I don't know who I am.
I don't know who I will be.
Each day a challenge, just to get to the end.
And tomorrow the same thing.
Each day defining what the new normal is.
Without you.
My past and my future clearly divided
between living and existing
before June 14, 2006
and after.
I love you Rosie.
And I always will.
I just wish that could have been enough for you.
And that you could have seen that each day
brings new blessings as well as new challenges.
I wish you could have stuck it out to see that there is joy in living, even with the ups and downs.
I miss you so much Rosie.
I miss the children that you didn't have.
I miss people telling me how much we look alike.
I miss you crawling into bed between
me and dad each night.
And even your goofiness and pouting and procrastinating.
Oh what I would give for that today.
Mom
3-3-07
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| Rosanne's Photo Album |
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| Rosie, 1 day old. Looking right into her Daddy's soul...... |
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